Bush Meat
by xXxLegalxXxAssassinxXx
Summary: So, someone on Deviant Art came up with the name. I never see Rufus R.J stuff. Her name is Emily, she left a LONG time ago, and now she's back. But, who is that with her? Read and find out sorry about sucky summary
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So this is my FIRST House Of 1000 Corpses fic! I LOVE RJ. There aren't enough things online bout him. They're kind of OOC, don't hate me1 It's hard to write a lot of stories at once, that's right, I'm working on updating ALL my stories! YAY ME!!!**

**But yeah, this is years before the first movie, I didn't like what they did to Otis in the second one, he looked gross. AND how RJ was a different actor! AND, I cried when everyone died at the end.....  
**

* * *

Emily smiled as she looked up at the old farmhouse; it was her home for most of her life. The place seemed to be abandoned though, but that's probably because everyone was off doing his or her own thing. She walked to the front door. Three knocks, no answer. Emily sighed and started to walk back to her car.

"Where are you going pretty mama?" A voice came from behind her. Emily looked around and saw a somewhat tall man.

"I'm sorry, they must have moved." She blocked the setting sun's rays with her hand and watched as he walked closer to her.

"Who is they?" he replied stopping in front of her. He wasn't bad looking, Emily thought.

"My family, Vera-Ellen, ever hear of her?" His eyes flashed something she couldn't read.

"Otis, who is it?" Emily looked over the man, now known as Otis's shoulder and saw Vera-Ellen standing in the doorway.

"Ellie!" Emily pushed Otis aside and ran up to Vera-Ellen.

"Emmy! But I go by Baby now." Baby responded with a squeal. The two women stopped in front of each other and squealed more.

They were asking each other the same questions at the same time when Otis got annoyed. "What the fuck is going on here?" He shouted.

"Otis you idiot! Emily is a part of our family, and she's R.J.'s sex partner." Baby started poking Emily in the sides.

"For your information, I was never his sex partner, I was his unofficial wife." Emily said proudly.

"Yeah, and by the looks of what's in your car, I'd say he did one hell of a job at knocking you up too." Otis said.

"You have a kid?" Baby ran to Emily's car and gasped. Asleep in the backseat was an exact replica of a young R.J.

All of a sudden, a large tow truck pulled into the drive. Emily froze when she recognized R.J. She looked to her best friend and she nodded.

"Hello Rufus." Emily smiled as he got out. He looked at her, and then a scowl spread across his face. Without saying a word, he walked into the house. Baby put a hand on Emily's shoulder.

"Sweetie, it's OK, he's probably still upset about the fact that you left without saying goodbye." Emily shook Baby's hand off and opened the door to the backseat of her car.

"Little man, come on. We're here, wake up." Emily gently shook her young son. He began to stir.

"How old is he?" Baby asked as Otis mumbled something about going back inside.

"Think Baby, he's six." Emily replied as she picked up her son. He wiped the sleep from his eyes and smiled at Baby. He looked so much like R.J. did at that age.

"Wow, it seems like longer since we last saw you. Did you leave because you found out you were pregnant?" Baby waved at the little boy then looked at his mother.

"Emily Walker, it that really you?" A woman shouted from the front porch.

"Yeah Mama! It's me!" Emily hollered back. The woman rushed up to the trio and stopped when she saw Emily's son.

"Is he R.J.'s little boy? Oh, he looks just like his daddy." Mama said as the boy buried his face in Emily's shoulder.

"It's OK sweetie, this woman is your grandma. Yeah, this is little Rufus." Mama looked as if she was about to cry.

"Well girls, let's get inside, suppers ready." Mama led the way into the house.

* * *

When they got to the dinner table, Emily saw R.J. again. He didn't talk, but he stared at her.

Their son looked at him, and he buried his face in Emily's shoulder again.

"Rufus, it's OK, he's your daddy, the one in all the pictures." Emily rubbed his back with her free hand.

"He looks mean, and scary, you said he wouldn't be." Little Rufus said. R.J. stood up and walked over to them.

"So who's here?" Emily and R.J. looked at an old man hobbling into the room.

"Grandpa Hugo, It's me, Emmy!" Emily smiled at him. He squinted at her and grinned.

"Well damn girl! You sure have filled out since the last time I saw you. You were ten." He said as he sat down.

"Grandpa, you know that's a damn lie, she had just turned twenty-two!" Mama came in and sat down. Emily sat down and put Little Rufus in the chair in between her and R.J. He couldn't see the top of the table and Emily laughed when he stood up.

"So little boy, what do you do for fun?" Otis asked Little Rufus as he and Baby sat down.

"I like coloring." he said quietly. Emily looked around with a puzzled expression.

"Mama, where's Tiny?" She asked.

"He's out in the woods somewhere. He heard you brought a little kid with you, and he said he didn't want to frighten him." Baby answered the question. Emily made a face and got upset.

"That's not right, Little Rufus here, he's not afraid of anything, besides, he's seen a picture of Tiny before." Emily stood up, walked outside, and hollered for Tiny to come inside. She didn't know how far away he was, so she didn't know if he heard her.

When she walked back inside, her son and his father were having a conversation about her. A huge smile spread across her face, this is what she wanted.

"So what's your mommy like nowadays, does she still do a lot of yard work?" R.J. asked and Little Rufus nodded. Emily sat down and she still had a large smile.

"So Emily, what brings you all the back here to Ruggsville, did you miss my devilish charms?" Grandpa asked as he wiped the food from his face. Everyone looked at her.

"Oh man, you know I like 'em old. But no,to tell you the truth, I knew I couldn't spend the rest of my life away from you guys, you're my family." She said as she picked at her plate.

"Well, that's just fan-fucking-tastic Emily." Grandpa said.

"Eat you vegetables." R.J. looked at his son, who was poking at his green beans.

"But I don't like green beans, they taste bad." he pouted.

"Listen to your father sweetheart." Emily said as she ate her dinner. In some ways, it was like she never left.

After dinner, Little Rufus kept nodding off. Emily held him as he finally fell asleep. She smiled at R.J. again, and he smiled back.

"Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm really tired, I've been on the road for quite a while." Emily stood, still holding her son. R.J. stood after her and took the boy. He carried him upstairs as Emily followed them.

* * *

"I missed you." R.J. said as she closed his bedroom door behind her.

"Rufus, I missed you too, I missed you every second of every day, and seeing our son only reminded me of that void you filled." She set their son down on the bed and stood to look at Rufus.

"I'm glad we have a son, and I'm glad you came back to me. I just wish you would have done it sooner." He wrapped his arms around her body; Emily was so much smaller than he was.

"I was scared, I thought you were going to be mad and not claim him." Emily looked up at him; tears were starting to form in her eyes.

"Emily, you of all people should remember how horrible I felt the first time. I regret what happened everyday of my life." R.J. wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Rufus don't worry about the past, it wasn't your fault, it was Cutter's, which reminds me, I'm going to kill him next time I see him." Emily looked into R.J.'s eyes and smiled. She took his shirt off him, and they climbed into bed.

* * *

**A/N: OMG WHAT DID CUTTER(Captain Spaulding)DO???**

**You'll just have to wait for it, ALL will be revealed! I miss Dennis Fimple, and Matthew McGrory!  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: w00t! Chapter two!!!! There's more Otis for all you Otis fans.....**

**ENJOY YOU BITCH-HOGS!!!**

**lolz sorry, I don't own anything except Emily and Little Rufus  
**

* * *

The next morning Emily pulled the sheets over her head when her son started jumping up and down. He was rambling something about breakfast. She pretended to be asleep, that is until a hulking figure lifted her and the blankets off the bed and threw her over their shoulder.

"No, I'm asleep. And get your hand off my ass, you're enjoying this too much!" Emily was kicking and screaming.

"How are you asleep if you're fighting? Do you really think your ass in my face is the highlight of my day Princess?" Rufus laughed as he carried her down the stairs. Emily could see their son right behind them.

"Mommy what's for breakfast?" Little Rufus asked as he looked at Emily. She could feel everyone staring at her ass.

"I'm not sure sweetheart, ask your grandma." Emily said after R.J. set her down. They both watched him skip over to Mother Firefly. Emily eyed R.J. and tried to hide the lust; Rufus grabbed her and carried her up the stairs.

"Rufus where are you going with her?" Mother said picking up Little Rufus and running behind them. Upstairs, Rufus dropped Emily onto the bed and stood over her. She looked up at him and didn't know what to think.

"Mother, take the boy downstairs and keep him there." R.J. didn't take his eyes off Emily. Mother went back downstairs, still carrying Little Rufus.

"What are you planning R.J?" Emily asked with a smile.

"Don't play dumb Emily. It's been six years." Rufus said taking his clothes off.

* * *

"Thank you for breakfast." Little Rufus said shyly after he finished his second helping of breakfast.

"Well sweetheart your welcome, and if you get hungry, feel free to ask." Mother said rubbing the top of his head. Little Rufus got down from his chair and walked over to where Grandpa Hugo was watching T.V.

"I like this show, its funny." Little Rufus said pointing to The Munsters.

"They're just like we are." Baby sat down next to him when the show ended.

"How do you mean?" He looked at her with curiosity.

"Well think about it, it's not too hard to see the similarities." Little Rufus thought about it for a while then started laughing.

"You're right; will you go out to my mommy's car with me? I gotta get my medicine." he stood up and grabbed Baby's hand. She smiled as he pulled her toward Emily's car. He was the perfect blend between Emily and R.J.

"So what medicine do you take?" Baby asked as he climbed into the backseat to grab a blue and green backpack.

"A lot of different kinds, one that's a really strong vitamin on account of 'cause I'm so weak and small, one to thicken my blood, I've got what's called hemophilia, four because I get sick easy in the sun, and a whole bunch more for the fact that I see and hear things other people don't." He smiled as they walked back into the house.

"Wow kid, you sure have problems." Baby followed him inside. They sat down together at the table when Otis came down the stairs.

"Why can't a man get any sleep around here? R.J. and his woman have been at it for almost three hours." He sat down at the head of the table.

"At what?" Little Rufus asked. Baby and Otis looked at each other; they didn't know how to answer his question.

"Hello everyone!" Emily came down the stairs wearing her pants and R.J.'s shirt. Her hair was a mess and she was stumbling a bit.

"Mommy!" Little Rufus stood up in his chair and held his arms out. Emily picked him up and laughed.

"Well aren't we the cheerful one." Baby laughed too.

"Where's R.J?" Otis asked looking up the stairs.

"Well, let's see, he's probably looking for his boxers." Emily laughed carrying Little Rufus toward the kitchen.

"Mommy, why are you walking kind of funny?" Otis was trying his hardest not to laugh at Emily's face.

"It's not something you should worry about sweetheart." She said sitting him down on the counter.

"OK." her son started swinging his legs. "Uncle Otis, what's a Rabbit?"

"A furry little hopping animal with large back legs and floppy ears. It comes in a variety of colors and types." Otis said looking at Little Rufus.

"No, not that kind of rabbit! You were talking to yourself, and you said my mommy was a rabbit, what did you mean?" Little Rufus wouldn't stop staring at him.

"A rabbit, it someone who, well, it's not exactly appropriate for little ears." Otis scratched the back of his neck.

"You really called Emily a rabbit?" Rufus asked as he walked into the kitchen.

"Yeah so, it's no big deal." Otis sneered.

"If I ever hear you refer to Emily as a rabbit, I won't hesitate when it comes to killing you because I understand your thought pattern better than anyone in this house." Rufus looked down at the much smaller man.

"Daddy, I'm thirsty." Little Rufus broke the silence. R.J. sighed and grabbed a cup, and the juice from the refrigerator. He poured his son a glass, handed it to him and walked outside. Emily and Baby both glared at Otis.

"I'll go after him." Emily sighed and walked out the door. She looked around and saw Rufus sitting over on the edge of the back porch playing with one of the dogs. It was Zombie, her English mastiff

"He knows how to get under my skin." was all Rufus said as Emily sat next to him.

"Sweetheart, Otis is just a scrawny prick, he wants you to freak out and try to hurt him." Zombie whined and laid his head down on her lap. Emily scratched his ears, and he licked her face. Rufus chuckled when Emily looked at him with disgust in her eyes. He knew how much she hated dog slobber.

"Well, I feel better." Rufus stood up and stretched. Emily held back a sigh when she saw his physique. He didn't have a six-pack, but there wasn't an ounce of fat on him.

"Don't just stand there Rufus, help me up!" Emily extended her arms toward him. Rufus decided to be a Jackass and look for who she was talking to. Emily whined "R.J! Please come pick me up!" He sighed, and did as he was told.

"God you're a demanding bitch-hog." Otis was leaning against the back-doorframe. Rufus growled at him to 'go away.' but Otis walked over to Emily, who was still sitting down. Zombie growled threateningly, he would attack anyone who posed a threat to his masters.

"Zombie, down," Emily stood up and glared at Otis. "I don't know what your problem is, but leave me alone, I can't stand being around you. Why don't you just run upstairs and play with yourself?"

"I'll be thinking about you when I come." he grinned toothily. Rufus grabbed him by the shirt and pushed him back inside.

"He's a nasty little prick." Rufus repeated what Emily said earlier. All of a sudden, Little Rufus started crying. They both thought it was Otis's fault.

When they ran back inside, they saw Otis stripping Little Rufus of his clothes, there was a big red puddle on the floor inches away from them.

"Sweetheart what happened?" Emily stood in front of her son.

"I went to take a drink of my juice, and I sneezed." He sniffled and tears were still streaming down his face. Otis pushed Emily out of the way, and rubbed the boy's arms, legs, and abdomen with a warm washcloth.

"Here, put this on until your clothes are dry." Otis took off his shirt and put it on Little Rufus.

"Thank you Uncle Otis." Little Rufus said hugging the man's neck. Emily was shocked when Otis picked the boy up and carried him to the living room.

"Rufus, what just happened?" She asked.

"I'm not sure, but I think Otis might enjoy our Little Man's company." Rufus and Emily looked at each other.


	3. Notice

xXxLegalxXxAssassinxXx is going to stop updating. If anyone wishes to continue a story for them, please send any inquiries to xXxEpicallyxXxEpicxXx here on fanfiction. There are a select few stories that will be brought over to the new profile.

XXxEpicallyxXxEpicxXx is updated regularly. We really hope to see you over there. Another thing is, suggestions on which stories to keep and which to get rid of are greatly appreciated. Thank you, and have a nice day.


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